I was just thinking about having relations with a man.  I haven’t been kissed by a guy in four years.  I haven’t found anyone that I was interested in and that was interested in me to have  those types of feelings with.  No secret I don’t feel attractive, but there is someone for everyone.  I’m ready for a little action, just a tad.  A guy with his own place.

I have been losing weight with hard work!  I think I need to step it up!  I’m maintaining my weight loss which is great but I want to lose more weight.  And I have a little problem, my fibroid and my cyst are bothering me.  AHHHHHH.  For one I cannot afford to have surgery, two I can’t HAVE A CYST.  Cysts makes me carry weight in my abdomen area.

I’m just going to stick to the plan and try some exercise.  Yes, I know exercise.   Maybe it’ll help.

I happen upon an article online, which referenced your closet  to your dating life.

Now we are not talking literally about a closet but more like the wardrobe in the closet.

I would describe my wardrobe as simple, plain, and same pieces in rotation.  It speaks like a person stuck in a rut.  My dating life is in a rut, but I do want a relationship that is simple, plain, and on replay.

Closet = Dating Life.  Well, sort of.

I love working at Walmart (disclaimer, lol).  But I don’t like the new attitudes of the customers.  Everyone has pretty much lost it.

Now for examples:

• Customers think that if they leave their buggies in line it holds their place.  I’m talking about I could have rung up five or more people and they’re like ok here I am.  I mean they get irate.
• Credit card transactions aren’t going through, repeatedly.
• People are constantly leaving money or methods of payment in the car.

Some of these things may sound normal but it’s happening more frequently.  Stay tuned from more!

I am a compulsive person, with that said I am taking my life back.  Which I have said a million times on this blog, which I will not drag out.  Where did this come from?  I was reading a blog from a person I admire and I might have gotten the wrong message (disclaimer).  But what I got was complaining and whining all the time is not cool, especially about the same stuff.  It’s time for me to but myself out there and not look back.  The past is the past and I am the captain of my fate and the master of my soul.  With that said I am going to be doing some changes to this blog.

I am going to post about things I’m passionate about and grateful for. 

So stay tuned!

I’m am so cloudy! I don’t know where I’m going! I don’t know what to do!

I don’t have a fulltime job with benefits! I do have a parttime job! I know its hard for everyone out there! I just don’t want to be here! I was to be somewhere else!

This is sad! I’m depressed yet again! I feel like I’m sufficating!

I have not posted in a while, though I have had a lot of free time. Most of my free time has been spent sleeping! I sleep a lot! This post is basically an update post!

• Bestie and her husband are in People Magazine! Its exciting, I wish she were here so we could celebrate but wishes are wishes! Congrads! You deserve the trip!

• Still no full-time job! I still have my part time gig, even my unemployment is dwindling! Yeah I know at least I’m getting unemployment!

• I have this feeling I need to move out! I know it’s been my mantra since the second grade! But I really need to go!

• I took my laptop to get the screen fixed! The man said it should be under two hundred dollars! I’ll be back in the game!

• I’m feeling very under achieverish! I’ve been punked by the recession! I should have saved but I didn’t. I guess you can cry over spilled milk but it doesn’t bring it back!

Cali:Bestie bought a ticket to California so I went.  We had fun!  Didn’t meet any cute hot guys, like I was looking. LOL.  I don’t like drama or games from guys, so it’s going to be a long journey to a relationship.

School: Got another denial letter from a graduate school, which sucks.  I am in a LPN program at Dekalb Tech.  I sort of feel like I am moving back.  It’s not graduate school!  I just have to do my best at the two classes I am signed up for.

Life:  Not satisfied.  Darn it I always want more.  I feel more confident about myself.  Heck I’m even learning to love myself more.  I’m so gosh darn adorable.  I have a long way to go.  And the finish line is no where in sight. 

Wants:To move out.  Get a job.  I dream of making a living off a job at Starbucks, lol. And walmart while I try to get into school and live in my own apartment.  One day I meet my guy.  Someone who is head over heels for me.   Yeah to dream!

My meeting with the nutritionalist went well.  She’s totally funny and relatable.  She shares my love for food which I feel I needed.  She talked about Mexican food like she had affairs with it. LOL.  Like my brief but hot marriage to a certain ice cream brand. 

I have an action plan.

1. 1500 Calories per day.  I got her to go up from 1400 calories.
2. Eat out for lunch 3x a week.
3. 3rd time or more treat it like a nutritional plan. arrhhh.  This meals no fries.  Or a fries and no sandwich.
4. Use the Calorie King book.  Which I got today.  Love it.
5. Dinner.  Eat a balanced dinner which means half vegetables, a quarter meat, and a quarter starch.
6. Snacks are to be less than 200 calories.

When is the age that you stop feeling like a girl and start feeling like a woman.

As we all know I’m not where I want to be. Yeah I am heading in the direction but I want to be the hare in all of this. I know the tortoise won. I just want my glamour now!

I don’t want to be the side kick, I want to be the headliner. I’m more than this artsy geek girl people seem to think I am. I can be sexy and cool. I know if you are you don’t have to say it! I want to be seen as sexy. I don’t feel sexy and I have criteria like most women. Whatever.

I don’t feel like a woman. Hell men see me as their mother or a stereotype of a mother. Hell I can’t even get pregnant by having sex.

I guess I want to feel like a sexy woman. Lol.