Work It Out

In college I had an ideal of what I wanted to do.  Before college I wanted to be a bounty hunter.  For years my grandparents were scared.  Then once I picked a major in college I decided to be a cardiologist because I wanted to fix hearts literally.  After my med school dreams went up in smoke, because I didn’t believe in myself and my grades were awful, I decided to be a sociology professor.  The dream was good while I was in college, but once I got out into the world I found sociology professors far and few between.  My first professional job was as a program assistant/receptionist at an AIDS service organization, within a year I got promoted to Prevention Specialist (Counseling, Testing, and referrals).  Whatever I do I am going to give back to the community.  I find myself not interested in HIV Prevention.  For me it’s too narrow and my work is becoming mechanical.  I want to do something with more creativity. I think that’s why I have been putting off graduate school. First I wanted a Masters in Public Administration, now it’s Public Health.  What do I really want to do?  I don’t mind paperwork, but I do not want to be swamped in paperwork.  I know whatever it is, it has to keep me learning and engage me.  HIV does not engage me.  I want set hours where I see people; I have clients constantly disrupting my work and train of thought.  I just really have some soul searching to do.  Because really I don’t know what I want to do.  Or maybe I do know and I’m afraid to go after it.


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