I think I might be depressed. There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me. I really just want to eat and eat and sleep. I don’t want the face the world. The world is against me. And then I am thinking this might just be my stupid hormones. Either way I need help. Professional help. Nothing is going the way I want it to go and everything is falling through the cracks. I don’t want people to think I am a nut case, which some already do. I guess I cannot change the way people view me, even though I want to please everyone. I hinder myself. Even this blog.
I want to call out of work tomorrow but I get my review. Wednesday there is a presentation. I feel smothered.
i feel like I have to put on a brave face for my friends. I feel like I have to abandoned my friends but I feel abandoned too.
And then I can feel this thing growing inside of me. Something that doens’t take away from problems but adds to them. A cyst growing bigger and bigger. My weight fluxating.
One of my friends sassed me for wanting to wear clothes out of Forever 21, but I have never been able to wear clothes out of Forever 21. I want my shot. I want to be able to wear clothes outside of the store.