Baby Drama

I want a baby.  I want a baby.  Not right now but in the future I would like a child.

A friend and I were having a conversation last night about babies.  She questions my reasoning and abilities for wanting one.  Which is fine but it got me wondering about things. 

The fact is I was upset.  I am talking about babies a lot.  Lots of people are having children which make it easier to yearn for them, at least for me to yearn for them.  I do want a child and I understand the time and effort put into raising a child.  If I wanted one and had to have one right now, I would be pregnant right now.  But I cannot even handle myself let alone someone else (including a child or husband).  So I do not take raising a child lightly, I want to give them the world.

And I want other things.  It’s not enough for me to be me living at home working in HIV Prevention and reading books.  I want more.  I want more education, dating, and to discover more things.  I want things to progress so I can be a mother in the future. 

Until then I will wait (more than likely not patiently) for a child.  I will go to the ongoing parade of baby showers and be happy for the individuals bringing new life into this world, while waiting for my time to have a baby of my own.


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