I want a baby. I want a baby. Not right now but in the future I would like a child.
A friend and I were having a conversation last night about babies. She questions my reasoning and abilities for wanting one. Which is fine but it got me wondering about things.
The fact is I was upset. I am talking about babies a lot. Lots of people are having children which make it easier to yearn for them, at least for me to yearn for them. I do want a child and I understand the time and effort put into raising a child. If I wanted one and had to have one right now, I would be pregnant right now. But I cannot even handle myself let alone someone else (including a child or husband). So I do not take raising a child lightly, I want to give them the world.
And I want other things. It’s not enough for me to be me living at home working in HIV Prevention and reading books. I want more. I want more education, dating, and to discover more things. I want things to progress so I can be a mother in the future.
Until then I will wait (more than likely not patiently) for a child. I will go to the ongoing parade of baby showers and be happy for the individuals bringing new life into this world, while waiting for my time to have a baby of my own.