Over the next month I am going to be doing some soul searching. Many people say that change happens whenever you want to change to happen. I like having a new year with a new beginning and propose. I am reflecting over the last couple of years so I can start building a stronger foundation. I use to be so strong, in my opinion. Over the years reality and my depiction of things have warn me down. I have decided I am going to come out on top.
I am praying that I will not lose many friends because I am sort of attached to the people in my life. I am just going through a hard time. I want people to be there but I understand that you cannot expect people to truly know and feel what you are going through.
I just think that next time this month I will be so much more pain free, thank God. For so long I have been in so much pain and I thought I was imagining it. I thought it was regular cramps and pains. I realize the mistakes I have made and I am grateful I caught them in time. I am grateful that I have insurance that will cover the surgery.
Again soul searching, I have to figure out what’s good and right for me. I am the type of person that does research and need a conscious. (laugh). I am growing up, I need to seek non bias parties and live my life the way I think is right.