Yesterday I was just so hormonal. I was freaking out about my weight. I wanted to cry and I did. It felt like none of my friends understood or understand. And I have to get over this punishing people thing, because the only person that I punish is myself. If I keep pushing people away eventually they are going to stay away. I am battling that with the fact that I don’t think anyone loves me for me. I want someone to love me for exactly who I am. Now I am talking romance. Any who I am a little tired. Work seems to be dragging today.
For so long all I had is myself. I had family but they weren’t that supportive. They could only offer what they offered. To my mother I will never be good enough. She has always wanted me to be more than what I am. A mensa sorority girl who is the life of the party and a cheerleader on the side. Married by twenty five and having kids while having a stellar career. I can only be me.