Like Yeah, Ok

In keeping myself busy I am not able to concentrate on much.   I am not able to focus my free time and attention on some of the things I need to be doing or things I think I should be doing.

I feel like a prisoner in my own body.  Like a piece of me is trapped inside my head and numbed.  Hopelessness maybe.  I don’t feel like I have any attributes at times.  I can see potential in other people but I can’t see the potential in myself. 

Vicious cycle. Lol.  I thought I was going to be able to write a cheerful post, but alas it’s about how I am really feeling.

I have to have another procedure done which I am not too happy about.  I don’t want to have cancer or having a wacky hormone system.  I don’t like people blaming me for this, because people should really mind their business.  I don’t want to tell my mother about the procedure.  I worry too much about her feelings and what she’ll think.  Hell, I’m 27 years old and I am allowed to keep secrets if I want to.

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