In keeping myself busy I am not able to concentrate on much. I am not able to focus my free time and attention on some of the things I need to be doing or things I think I should be doing.
I feel like a prisoner in my own body. Like a piece of me is trapped inside my head and numbed. Hopelessness maybe. I don’t feel like I have any attributes at times. I can see potential in other people but I can’t see the potential in myself.
Vicious cycle. Lol. I thought I was going to be able to write a cheerful post, but alas it’s about how I am really feeling.
I have to have another procedure done which I am not too happy about. I don’t want to have cancer or having a wacky hormone system. I don’t like people blaming me for this, because people should really mind their business. I don’t want to tell my mother about the procedure. I worry too much about her feelings and what she’ll think. Hell, I’m 27 years old and I am allowed to keep secrets if I want to.