Am I Proud of Myself


Simple answer to a deep question.  I’m not proud or secure with myself, so no I am not proud.  I’m a planner and I didn’t plan for this life.  This is not the life I spent working for.  I’m trying to dig myself out of a hole but I can’t see the light or anything to say I getting close to being out. 

To make matters worse I don’t measure up to my own expectations.  I expect myself to have a fulltime job.  To be married to a wonderful man and a child or expecting a child.  Instead reality is that I’m living with mother while working part-time at f-ing Wal-Mart.  Not being able to pay all my bills.  Afraid I’m not get good enough for this horny guy at work.


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