Good Jobs and Confidence

I am sad because I don’t have a “good” job.  A job where I can pay all my current bills and live on my own.  When I did have a “good” job I was worried about other things.  I am so worn out and I feel like I have a long way to go.  My BFF says be positive, but I am afraid to be positive because nothing has happened yet.  And I think being positive won’t change things.  I’ll just be in the same situation with a positive attitude.

I’ve decided to work on my confidence.  It’s a big thing that I lack.  My confidence comes out in spurts.  It doesn’t come out in fight or flight situations, even thought I think it should.  My confidence goes on vacation about 345 days out of the year.  I need confidence every day.  I decided in 2011 it’s the one thing I’m really going to work on.  I think confidence in myself will help me score the job after interviews.

I feel like the whole world is in on a joke that I’ll never get.  I feel like I’m engulfed with people’s opinions on me.  I want approval, but I know I only need to approve of myself.

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