Fancy, huh?

fame

I want so much.  So much of this blog is about what I want.  I figure so why stop now.  This is a list about what I want:

  • a nice place of my own that is decorated fabously
  • a boyfriend whom I am serious with
  • a great job
  • parties
  • brunches
  • nice clothes
  • nicer shoes
  • slender bod

Right NOW 6/24/2013

  • Slept until 1:48pm.  Can you say tired.
  • Looking forward to the book club meeting tonight.  Really looking forward to it.  Pizza, wine, and a great book.
  • Rice a roni. My bestie has tried to get me to make it for years.  I loved it.
  • Over the heat.  Fall where are you.
  • Looking forward to my after summer vacation.  Might have to take a mini vacation before then though.
  • Whiskey stones.  Interesting but can they come in another color.
  • Looking to make more money to do more things.

Yeah

I am totally everywhere.  I keep thinking about where am I.  What am I doing?  My life is passing me by.

I’m 30. I’m not even thirty, I’m 31.  Eeek, I almost forgot.

Living at home working at the megacenter.  I don’t know how to move forward.  I am stuck!!!!  And I feel I suck.  I am sucking at life.  Moving out would make me feel better but I don’t make anything.  My checks are four hundred dollars no matter how long I work.

Trying

I am trying something new.  No, blogging isn’t new for me.  But I haven’t been blogging constantly since I got laid off in 2009.  I’ve been in a funk and just existing  And I cannot do that anymore.  If I want a life, I have to go out and get one.

I have to be more than just my job.  I have to have more than just my job going on for me.  My job and Game of Thrones are keeping me fat and in the same place I’ve been for a while.  The starting line is behind me and I am at a steady pace.  I’m ready to enjoy this.

Current 2.24.13

listening to the Oscars and only looking up to see what people are wearing.

eating waffles

drinking guava juice

trying to stick to my goals

worrying that everything will not work out

needing another off day before Friday

missing the money I need to make

pre vail

I was sure that I wanted prevail to be my word for 2013.

I need a word to move forward and to empower me.  I know I need to step my game up in life.  If you want change then you have to change.  Prevail overcomes all that mess in my life.  I am super excited for 2013.

I feel a new year gives you a new start for goals.

Undriven

For once in my life I do not have a concrete plan.  I am use to knowing where I am going and why.  I know that path that I should take.  And I arrive when I arrive.  It seems like recently I have just lost it.  I want a well paying job in the non-profit sector.  And I want to go back to school, but both seem really difficult.

I feel like the loser grown up who stays with her mom.  The scary person lurking in the shadows.  I keep thinking that I need to get my head in the game, but how much time do I need to get my head in the game.  All my time seems to be thinking and waffling.  I’m in a rut and I do not know how to move forward.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?

I am a fan of action plans.  I think maybe I need an action plan.  But maybe I am doing a lot of planning and not enough doing.  Maybe I need to do and not plan.  I am afraid I am letting life just happen.

No what a mess

My life has become a mess in 2012.  I complete mess.

The only joy I have right now is young adult dystopian novels and my Walmart app.  I want to read Mindy Kaling’s book, but funds are lacking and I have a cruise to go on.

The Bahamas is going to be nice.  The car ride is probably the worse thing.  Plus I know my friend does not trust my driving.

Trapped

I am so all over the place right now.  I am living at home about to go blind okay just losing my sight from a degenerative eye disease.  I don’t want to be where I am now.  I want to be somewhere totally different.  I don’t want to be living with my mother at 30.  I don’t want to be single.  I don’t want to be at the supercenter.

Everyone seems to have the answers, well where the answers are for me.  I feel trapped.

My Fantasy Profile

Name: If you don’t know it than it is what it is
Provenance: Seattle, Washington
Profession: Clinical Social Worker, author, and artist
Bon Fides: B.A. in Sociology concentrated in Gender and Sexuality from Georgia State University, Masters in Public Administration from Strayer University, and A Masters in Clinical Social Work from University of Georgia. Has written for Body and Soul, Bon Appettit, Glamour, Ebony, Jet Magazine, Marie Claire, The New York Times, Outside, Psychology Today, and the Journal.
Reading: Think Like a Man . . . by Steve Harvey
Dream subjects: Interviewing. I would love to interview JLo, Sarah Palin, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Miss Piggy, Chelsea Lately.
Dinner Party: We have a dinner club. Each month a different house. 12 members and 12 houses. I just made a lobster pot pie.