I am totally everywhere. I keep thinking about where am I. What am I doing? My life is passing me by.
I’m 30. I’m not even thirty, I’m 31. Eeek, I almost forgot.
Living at home working at the megacenter. I don’t know how to move forward. I am stuck!!!! And I feel I suck. I am sucking at life. Moving out would make me feel better but I don’t make anything. My checks are four hundred dollars no matter how long I work.
I am trying something new. No, blogging isn’t new for me. But I haven’t been blogging constantly since I got laid off in 2009. I’ve been in a funk and just existing And I cannot do that anymore. If I want a life, I have to go out and get one.
I have to be more than just my job. I have to have more than just my job going on for me. My job and Game of Thrones are keeping me fat and in the same place I’ve been for a while. The starting line is behind me and I am at a steady pace. I’m ready to enjoy this.
I was sure that I wanted prevail to be my word for 2013.
I need a word to move forward and to empower me. I know I need to step my game up in life. If you want change then you have to change. Prevail overcomes all that mess in my life. I am super excited for 2013.
I feel a new year gives you a new start for goals.
For once in my life I do not have a concrete plan. I am use to knowing where I am going and why. I know that path that I should take. And I arrive when I arrive. It seems like recently I have just lost it. I want a well paying job in the non-profit sector. And I want to go back to school, but both seem really difficult.
I feel like the loser grown up who stays with her mom. The scary person lurking in the shadows. I keep thinking that I need to get my head in the game, but how much time do I need to get my head in the game. All my time seems to be thinking and waffling. I’m in a rut and I do not know how to move forward.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?
I am a fan of action plans. I think maybe I need an action plan. But maybe I am doing a lot of planning and not enough doing. Maybe I need to do and not plan. I am afraid I am letting life just happen.
I am so all over the place right now. I am living at home about to go blind okay just losing my sight from a degenerative eye disease. I don’t want to be where I am now. I want to be somewhere totally different. I don’t want to be living with my mother at 30. I don’t want to be single. I don’t want to be at the supercenter.
Everyone seems to have the answers, well where the answers are for me. I feel trapped.
Name: If you don’t know it than it is what it is Provenance: Seattle, Washington Profession: Clinical Social Worker, author, and artist Bon Fides: B.A. in Sociology concentrated in Gender and Sexuality from Georgia State University, Masters in Public Administration from Strayer University, and A Masters in Clinical Social Work from University of Georgia. Has written for Body and Soul, Bon Appettit, Glamour, Ebony, Jet Magazine, Marie Claire, The New York Times, Outside, Psychology Today, and the Journal. Reading: Think Like a Man . . . by Steve Harvey Dream subjects: Interviewing. I would love to interview JLo, Sarah Palin, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Miss Piggy, Chelsea Lately. Dinner Party: We have a dinner club. Each month a different house. 12 members and 12 houses. I just made a lobster pot pie.