Sadness

  • My BFF wants to have a Friendship Party.  Which wouldn’t be as depressing if I didn’t have a boyfriend or husband.  It just makes me sad.  No one can be harder on me than I am on myself.  I feel a nudge to get a man to meet people’s expectations.  I just don’t want to hear it.  And this friendship party reminds me that I am alone and I only have my friends.
  • People just feel like they can insert their opinions on my life.  I don’t need anyone’s opinion on what I eat or how to meet a man or anything.
  • I’m drained.  I just need time by myself.  Everything is draining.  Maybe I just need time off because I feel overwhelmed by everything.

Right NOW 6/24/2013

  • Slept until 1:48pm.  Can you say tired.
  • Looking forward to the book club meeting tonight.  Really looking forward to it.  Pizza, wine, and a great book.
  • Rice a roni. My bestie has tried to get me to make it for years.  I loved it.
  • Over the heat.  Fall where are you.
  • Looking forward to my after summer vacation.  Might have to take a mini vacation before then though.
  • Whiskey stones.  Interesting but can they come in another color.
  • Looking to make more money to do more things.

Issues

I’m tired of having issues.  My mother just said something snarky to me and I flew off the handle.  We are talking waterworks.  I’ve been sad the past two days.  Nothing but feeling sorry for myself when I should be grateful for what I have.  My mother lets me live with her and there are people out there who don’t even have mothers.

Sometimes I feel like I am in her way, but I know that most the time people are in their own ways.  I would never blame anyone but myself for my own failures, but i think sometimes she blames me for hers.  Maybe I am a failure of hers.  Who knows.   Man I am truly narcissistic, what if it’s not even about me.  Talk about having a Cher moment (from Clueless).

She’s getting her roof redone which means no vacations anytime soon.  And my mom has the most vacation time than anyone I know.  That might be a bummer for her.  Who knows.  Maybe she just didn’t want to be bothered or had a lot on her mind.

What’s On Your . . .

Vanity: don’t own one

Perennial to do list: deep clean room, clean bathroom, get another job

Refrigerator sleeves:  brown eggs, creamer

Itinerary: going to my brother’s high school graduation, having a lot of time off

Fantasy Itinerary: Paris, London, Milan, another cruise

Playlist: Don’t have one.  I listen to the radio

Nightstand: My iphone 5 charger, scissors

Workout plan: yeah, no

Iphone: Bedazzled, feedly

Top 5 list: contentment, moving forward, traveling, saving, living

Bucket list: traveling, writing, paying off debt

Blogroll: elisejoy, ode to joy

 

Promoted

With great power comes great responsibility.  The super-center promoted me to a supervisor.  It’s more money which takes a little bit of weight off my shoulders but it’s a lot more responsibility.  I’m not going to lie, I feel like I am making mistakes at every turn.

But my faith is holding strong.  I can get through it.  I have a good set of people in front and behind me.